Absence Monologue
‘Sas good a time as any to affect
An appearance that may quicken this site.
We have no reservations, and the table
Is not set, for more dire endeavors,
Like bottle bottoms of Manischewitz,
Vow and vie for the rare currency of
My attention. Could this be confused with
Softness t’wards My Shell? Perhaps it will. She
Wrote with the ghost, never owned up, ‘cept to
Status shield with proportionality:
“It was less than fifty-fifty. Promise!
More like the sum of one to one hundred!”
I shall now return to my absence, but
Carry on watching the Malkins finger and
Dig their holy (and wholly glorious) holes.‘Tis a brittle, long limb to tarry on.
To wit, for those drawn by sweet carrion:
They will fall victim to evil self-contrived.
Thus ends act four, I may return in five.
Absence, particularly in the case of Malkin, can only make the heart grow fonder.
Comment by teh l4m3 — September 4, 2006 @ 5:35 pm
Still waiting, teh.
Nice monologue, Ryan.
Comment by Auguste — September 4, 2006 @ 10:22 pm
Great monologue Ryan.
Comment by jimmy — September 5, 2006 @ 12:16 am
Equating our political foes to Nazis is a new and refreshing take on substantive political commentary. Why hasn’t anyone else thought of this? Sharp whits about!!!
Comment by October r4|n — October 2, 2006 @ 4:01 am
Funny how Malkin casts someone who tries to determine if she is really writing all her blog posts as “creepy.” By those standards, Malkin must be have acheived stalker-level creepiness for her obsession with Cindy Sheehan.
Her whole latest “I’m just a little innocent house mom” crap in order to get out of embarassing pictures from her youth (real or not) is really, really, really funny.
Comment by skippy — October 2, 2006 @ 8:31 am
@skippy - everyone is obsessed with Sheehan because how extreme and weird she is.
@ October r$|n - I love you.
Comment by janson_w — October 2, 2006 @ 2:14 pm
And Malkin isn’t extremely weird?
Comment by skiippy — October 4, 2006 @ 4:05 pm
I love the internetc!
http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1307394767061914650odbeHA
Wonkette is my Bitch.
Comment by Strongbad — October 5, 2006 @ 3:55 pm
Where are you?
Comment by Halfmad — October 12, 2006 @ 5:59 pm
What’s happened???!!
Comment by RavenStar — November 24, 2006 @ 7:42 pm
For those who are confused:
As it stands now, Ryan (as far as I know) isn’t planning on continuing this site. I am not one to say “never” but I doubt that I will be back here either, at least not in the forseeable future. The blog will remain, because, well, there’s some genius shit that should not be lost to the ages :) - and we’re not going to pull a Hesiod - but for all intents and purposes, the blog is in permanent retirement.
Thanks for all your support.
Comment by Auguste — November 25, 2006 @ 3:51 am
By the way, you can find my new home here. If Ryan gets a new home, I’ll make sure it gets posted on this thread, too.
Comment by Auguste — December 14, 2006 @ 3:57 am
Goddamn it, I don’t think I have a login anymore to get rid of this shit.
Comment by Auguste — December 18, 2006 @ 4:57 am
WTF??!! *falls down laughing*
Comment by Amara — December 19, 2006 @ 12:07 am
Haha.
So comment #13 refers to a mythical PREVIOUS #13 which was a 45-paragraph racist screed. Ryan apparently logged in to delete it. Therefer, my tourette’s-like #13 is all that remains.
Comment by Auguste — January 3, 2007 @ 3:44 am
Weeping.
Comment by Tan — January 16, 2008 @ 2:02 pm
Hi, I really like your thoughts and ideas and wish to exchange ideas.
Please visit my blogs if you have some time:
American Blog
American Classic
American Idols
American Traveler
Planet America
Thank you very much.
Comment by American Traveler — September 1, 2008 @ 5:07 am