Help the Malkinites
I’m disappointed with the quality of the nicknames Michelle and Bryan have come up with for embattled, corrupt Democratic House member William J. Jefferson [Wikipedia article].
My entry: William “Antifreeze the Benjamins” Jefferson.
Leave yours in the comments. They’re in desperate need of a humor transfusion.

William “I put a crap-load of money in the freezer because, quite erroneously, I thought that was the last place anyone would look. I mean, seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?” Jefferson.
Well okay, that may be a tad long but it’s still better than Malkin’s. “Frozen dollar”?
Comment by matt — June 16, 2006 @ 12:58 pm
I like it. Literal. Logical.
Mine is a slightly esoteric pop culture reference to the Puff Daddy single, It’s All About the Benjamins. Note the syllabic similarities. :-]
Comment by Ryan — June 16, 2006 @ 1:04 pm
If we want to have lame hip hop references, we could go with “bling freeze”, which has the benefit of being a slant rhyme, so it rolls of the tongue.
Comment by Raznor — June 16, 2006 @ 1:40 pm
Hmm. Maybe if they had found some diamonds in there with the solid water…
Comment by Ryan — June 16, 2006 @ 1:45 pm
I’m sure Archie Bunker would have a ton of nick names for Jefferson. Oh wait, he did that already on All In The Family now, didn’t he?
Comment by skippy — June 16, 2006 @ 9:30 pm
80s/90s Bay Area rapper Too $hort always used to sing about “cold cash.”
Sample lyrics (from “I Ain’t Trippin’” - a classic):
Silky D
Worked the beat
Kicked me down cold cash
I was ridin’ the bus one day
Next day I was on the gas
Everybody loved Too $hort
Rollin’ down the strip
Then one day just like that
Homeboy jumped on my tip
You started spreadin’ rumors, man
Said you saw me rappin’ in jail
No, I never came down to the Flatlands
I was chillin’ with the homies on the hill
***
Particularly poignant lyrics if you happened to have passed any of your misspent youth in the East Bay.
Word.
Comment by LA — June 17, 2006 @ 9:59 am